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how a bipolar person loves

how a bipolar person loves

How could I find a man strong enough to share my life’s journey? All Rights Reserved. Copyright © 2021 NAMI. I entered both of those marriages trying to see what my wife could do for me. Just not for me.” Share on … We had the same goals in life and were instantly drawn toward one another like magnets; it was clearly meant to be. 1.There should be a limit of character s.There is too much droning on and on. I truly don’t know where to find a support group that would help me deal with him. I fell right to sleep. All loving relationships take work and being with someone [who lives with] bipolar is no different,” adds Glo, from bphope.com. And I don't think that any one ever truly "knows" that another human being loves them or not. I want his full attention, and I'm very jealous. Thank you. Feeling completely engulfed by my daughters...one bipolar...trying to bridge the gap of understanding both ways. Many people with bipolar disorder seemed to be offended by this post by a member (username ykcim) of the Bipolar Support Forums at Mdjunction.com. Explore the different options for supporting our mission. The manifestation of bipolar II inside of my brain. I have not learned to take time for myself and find in the last 3 years I have become depressed. Imagine someone with bipolar disorder, falling in love. But this phrase is wrong—bipolar disorder can kill. I’m sad, mad. Being fortunate in my ability to recognize when I am I'll or spiraling into illness, I can predict my need for help. I understand this and let it go to keep the peace. I no longer had any friends because I just wanted to lay down all day; I had no energy or motivation to do anything. When people get into a relationship, they're looking for stability, says Scott Haltzman, MD.   Leave this cliche out of your repertoire. Not a mental health professional. As a bipolar person myself who’s come along away through my recovery, the most important thing I have learnt and which saved me from myself is knowing that you can’t understand love with your mind, it’s once you put away that concept of love, or that it exists outside of yourself, and realize love is the key to knowing yourself and being truly happy.. and it all starts with yourself. … My self-confidence reached its lifetime peak during the beginning stages of our relationship, too. The British band Roxy Music sang “Love Is the Drug” back in the 1970s, and decades of research have shown there’s literal truth to those words. Thank you for the article, and thank all of you for the insightful comments. All Rights Reserved. “Faith, hope and love, the greatest of these being love.” What do you do to keep well? If he woke up before me, I’d wake up to my favorite coffee and a lovely little note on the nightstand beside me. All Rights Reserved. It's faith. Instead, we simply coexist. Explore the different options for supporting NAMI's mission. And as far as my dream man…he stood firmly by my side holding me while gently stroking my hair as I cried for sometimes hours because I was so depressed. “They may even feel their own identities are being buried—they are losing themselves or jeopardizing their own health.”. The rules of marriage don’t change just because I’m a person living with bipolar disorder. For some it revolves exclusively around manging moods. Bipolar disorder, also known as manic depressive disorder, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy and activity levels that are drastically different from the moods and behaviors of a “typical” person. Parents who have bipolar children are asked to tell their kids how much they love them as often as possible. Even trying to take time seems difficult to just do that. But now, almost eight years into the relationship, I feel as though I have lost everything despite the fact that we’re still together. He should have that magical energy with someone, he is so worthy and deserving of it! And so here I am. I find it hard to talk about. Here's more on why this occurs and how to move forward. Get angry at the disease, not the person. I am in a relationship with a loving man that I believe is bipolar. How could I find a man strong enough to share my life’s journey? Having bipolar disorder creates limitations your friend must live with, and in order to effectively help them it’s important that you understand and respect them as well. I barely spoke to my family. Learn the best and worst things a caregiver can say to someone living with bipolar disorder. When you have bipolar disorder, what does it mean to fall in love? On and off with someone who was diagnosed bipolar II. We feature the latest research, stories of recovery, ways to end stigma and strategies for living well with mental illness. And honestly, it doesn’t matter if I had been diagnosed, nobody should be the victim of verbal abuse. Once we’d become friends, even before the intimate relationship formed, we both knew we had each found our life soulmate. The reason? If anything, it would simply get in the way from time to time. For me, the most devastating has been my romantic relationship with a truly amazing man. However, there are limited sources available for people who love somebody with bipolar depression. This man needs love and I am no longer equipped to do so. She!ly observed that in physical illness people come to the aid in loving support by bring meals, providing company, and asking how they might best be of assistance. Bipolar disorder can be tough for the person affected; some people learn to control it, some don't, but it's important to understand how they're affected and how you can help them. Sex is an important part of most of our lives and no less so for people living with bipolar disorder. My search was filled with both pain and joy. As the loving partner of someone experiencing bipolar disorder, your life will take on a new “normal”—which could possibly consist of taking on increased daily responsibilities. He blames me for his recent hospitalization. Bipolar 2. This is one of the most important things to remember if you want to know how to deal with a bipolar person. However, until the depressed person has given you permission to be their therapist, (as a friend or professional), the following responses are more likely to help. She has come in and out of my life for the past 6 years. He's very quiet and not verbally expressive, so I am usually the one that has to initiate any meaningful conversation, but I do try to assess regularly his emotional response to my behaviors, because he gives me know visual clues...he has one expression and it is sad, angry, or annoyed, yet he frequently denies feeling any of these at the time. For a chemically stable person, it’s chaos enough. Bipolar was formerly called manic-depression for a while. That is the first step at helping your partner.”. I laugh now, thinking back at all of the incredulous thoughts I’ve entertained as part of my bipolar … I’m not too sure…. What to Do When Your Friends and Family Are Unsupportive of Your Depression, A Letter to Those Struggling with Mental Illness, Why I Embrace 12-Step Principles as a Therapist, excessive irritability, aggressive behavior. I love him with everything I have left in me but I know it’s not enough and I know I will never be “stunning” to him again. So many days I have thought about either leaving him or leaving this world for the sole reason that he could finally find someone he deserves and feels that magnetic energy with because it is no longer me that gets to feel that amazing sensation. Check out our Submission Guidelines for more information. It is important when you are dating someone with bipolar disorder to recognize that their disease is a piece of their life pie, and not their whole identity. If you have a friend or family member with bipolar disorder, be alert for when they might go into a crisis and do not leave them alone. Living with a mental health condition can have major setbacks, especially in relationships. Getting Help If you recognize several warning signs of bipolar disorder in yourself or a loved one, seek help. Though we are still together today fighting to get back what we once had, I’m afraid to say that I’m not sure that we will get it back. The following are trademarks of NAMI: NAMI, NAMI Basics, NAMI Connection, NAMI Ending the Silence, NAMI FaithNet, NAMI Family & Friends, NAMI Family Support Group, NAMI Family-to-Family, NAMI Grading the States, NAMI Hearts & Minds, NAMI Homefront, NAMI HelpLine, NAMI In Our Own Voice, NAMI On Campus, NAMI Parents & Teachers as Allies, NAMI Peer-to-Peer, NAMI Provider, NAMI Smarts for Advocacy, Act4MentalHealth, Vote4MentalHealth, NAMIWalks and National Alliance on Mental Illness. “You still need to take care of yourself. Bipolar disorder is a condition with mood swings that can range from euphoria to depression.. I'm bipolar and i have a depression disorder and every time my friends find out or im going out with someone and they find out they always leave. For the longest time people thought there was only one kind of Biplolar. It can be so hard when you feel so alone. I have made a mess of my relationhsip. The Bipolar Relationship. My husband is bipolar and it’s been very difficult and scary. Part of having bipolar can be what is called "anosognosia," a weird word for a simple idea: a mentally ill person who's unable to perceive that they are ill. It's hard not to get so caught up with worrying about your partner and your marriage that you forget to take care of yourself. They make meals and get you out of the house. All these things I have seen written here have shown me that I am not alone. And this is just one example of how strong our love was. Imagine someone with bipolar disorder, falling in love. The point that all relationships take work is absolutely true. Unfortunately, if I report being "down" or depressed" the response has been the promise of prayer from a distance, so I have learned to report my metal ills as physical ills, so others will be near to help (ensuring I eat, sleep, am comfortable, and if nothing else providing through their presence, a safe space where no severe harm can be done). Bipolar disorder can make us doubt everything. Explore the different options for supporting our mission. I suffered from extremely bad insomnia when I met him to the point that I just wouldn’t sleep at all…but something amazing happened when I laid my head on his chest snuggled underneath his arm. Feel so helpless and hopeless. Arlington, VA 22203, NAMI Required Disclosures For Written Solicitations. NAMI I’d catch him staring at me from across the room and as I blushed, he’d say, “I just don’t know what I did to deserve you.”. For me, the most devastating has been my romantic relationship with a truly amazing man. I am bipolar. He works from home kicking ass as a self-employed marketer and I do nothing because that’s what I am capable of. While it can be difficult to master, self-care is essential if you love someone with a brain disorder. This is a common stigma against those with bipolar disorder, but it’s unfounded. Not only have I been robbed of a love that not many people will ever find, but so has he. We have been living together for 15 years and married for five and in that time I had my suspicions about a BP disorder which were finally confirmed when he went inpatient late spring. Laughing along with our list of the condition's lighter side is easier. Where to go from here? As is the need for communication. Knowing inside myself what is real has to be enough, good luck to all. Rapid speech. Couple’s therapy can be an effective way to develop strategies for coping with the disorder together, says David Miklowitz, PhD, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Los Angeles. The beginning. It’s tough to make excuses or think logically that this is an illness. He has done absolutely everything in the world for me and not once has he held it over my head. Bipolar Love on the Brain. A person diagnosed with bipolar disorder may see red flags from their partner, too. Hypomanic episodes may include: Increased energy and drive. As someone who hasn’t had the best romantic relationships in life, when I met my current boyfriend, I was often left completely speechless by the things he would do for me or say to me. The author explains from experience. To love a person with bipolar disorder, like anyone else, you have to be willing to be hurt, you have to take a chance, you have to be prepared to roll with the punches. Explore the different options for supporting NAMI's mission. Share your story, message, poem, quote, photo or video of hope, struggle or recovery. One year ago, after he fought for four months with my insurance company to get my last resort treatment, TMS, approved, I noticed the distance between us growing exponentially. Because Bi-polar is not a personality disorder like narcissism or Borderline personality disorders. Separate the Person from the Disease . For me, the most devastating has been my romantic relationship with a truly amazing man. I am a bipolar person, I have never been diagnosed but my brother has been, and he is under medication. He’d go to countless psychiatrist appointments with me, made sure I ate, held me when I cried, prevented me from hurting myself. A person with bipolar disorder may disagree with their partner more easily during a manic episode. Q: Why do bipolar people devalue the ones that love and support them push them away with hurtful things then try to reconnect and get them back? Thank you. The unpredictable symptoms and behaviors of a person experiencing bipolar disorder can shake up a relationship and may scare even the most supportive partner. What I’ve learned from living with and loving someone with bipolar disorder is that expressions of love change, at least temporarily, in the midst of major mood episodes. However, most people with bipolar disorder can fall in love and feel loving towards others. Bipolar Disorder and Love . NAMI The rules of marriage don’t change just because I’m a person living with bipolar disorder. I still look back on those first days when the bipolar side of me was present but less obvious and debilitating. The prospect of dealing with a lifelong, life-threatening condition can be overwhelming. These relationships can include friendships, family and romantic relationships. I have been married for 40 years to a wonderful man that unfortunately has bipolar. Do's and Don'ts For Loving A Bipolar Person. It's a beautiful thing to read about people committing to each other, helping and supporting their partner. My mother died recently and my beloved bipolar boyfriend blocked my phone when I told him and has been silent for the past 3 months. 4301 Wilson Blvd., Suite 300 Here are a few rules to apply to make love last. I will lose my identity as a person to the role of caretaker. He took care of me in all aspects. Find a good therapist or support group that will take care of your needs. It's good to hear I'm not the only one dealing with it. Identify those lies. It seemed to have happened overnight due to the fact that I noticed it in that manner, but maybe it was progressive; I personally don’t think it was, I think it was an instance somehow. Research shows that as a caregiver, you are at increased risk of becoming depressed and having other health problems if you neglect yourself. Wonderfully said. “Regular communication is really important,” she stresses. It’s okay to identify potentially harmful bipolar impulses. The bipolar disorder symptom nobody talks about, it even took me by surprise as I willingly ventured deeper and deeper into *not my first* technicolor delusion.. Copyright © 2021 NAMI. I have been blaming myself for so much thinking that I have don’t something wrong. A mental condition, although called the same, will have many faces. Keeping well when you have bipolar is an interesting concept. You could be a family member, a significant other or a friend and not know how to respond in love to somebody struggling with bipolar disorder. He urged me to get help and despite my not wanting to be on meds—and I fought back hard—I went ahead and started getting help. The following are trademarks of NAMI: NAMI, NAMI Basics, NAMI Connection, NAMI Ending the Silence, NAMI FaithNet, NAMI Family & Friends, NAMI Family Support Group, NAMI Family-to-Family, NAMI Grading the States, NAMI Hearts & Minds, NAMI Homefront, NAMI HelpLine, NAMI In Our Own Voice, NAMI On Campus, NAMI Parents & Teachers as Allies, NAMI Peer-to-Peer, NAMI Provider, NAMI Smarts for Advocacy, Act4MentalHealth, Vote4MentalHealth, NAMIWalks and National Alliance on Mental Illness. However, for a diagnosis of bipolar I disorder, a person only needs to have a manic episode. My heart longs for him every single second of every single day but we can’t just snap our fingers and have things back to the way they were many years ago. It has been only a few months post discharge. During manic episodes, a person with bipolar … He was right. If you have any questions whether someone loves you, bipolar or not, then you need to look at your own insecurities. Further, couples that view bipolar as a brain-based disorder and their partnership as “equal” seem to have the most success. I am with a boy for 7 years, and it has been so hard, I fight with him every other day. In 2016 she received the Folio: Top Women in Media Award in the Entrepreneurs category for meeting the challenges of growing a pioneering publication for this readership. Your illness is telling you that I don’t love you. It is not always easy to talk about my invisible illness, simply because I do … One person with bipolar will have trouble controlling their anger; another won’t. Love is, after all, a surge of dopamine, adrenaline and serotonin – the chemicals responsible for comfort, exhilaration and happiness. It's not your partner's fault they are sick. My boyfriend and I have been together a while now and he leaves and comes back he's done that for the past 2 years I always thought it was cause he didn't love me but reading this made me realize that it's hid bipolar acting up and I don't plan on leaving him any time soon I love him to death and this helped me so much thank you so much. How one doesn't really understand her sisters Illness and how the other doesn't understand how hurtful she can be during an episode. Get the … Want MORE personal advice and helpful Bipolar videos that are not on YouTube? By sharing your experience, you can let others know that they are not alone. Things aren’t the same anymore and so much has been lost. For others it means fitting life around moods. A2A. I was wondering if its possible for a bipolar/depressed person to be loved. You’ll too often hear that bipolar disorder makes a person switch moods or personality, like Jekyll and Hyde, or that it means a person is moody or manic all the time. Common responses include: "Oh, you're just trying to get attention;" "Snap out of it, get a job and quit whining;" "If you only (prayed more, tried harder, ate more vegetables, etc.) No, definitely, categorically, no.. Why? The location has been moved to the other side of town and it would cost me a fortune to hire a taxi. Bipolar disorder is with the individual … The person with bipolar or any other mental disorder still has to accept responsibility for their actions or refusal to act. Those with bipolar disorder can fall in love, get married, and live long happy lives. The trouble is when your caring for a spouse with cancer people understand and come to your side. Copyright © 2021 NAMI. I truly mean this when I say I never thought the idea of soulmates was legit until I met him. The lives of those suffering from it are hugely impacted by it. You want to be supportive and empathetic, because you know the person with bipolar disorder isn’t to blame for their illness. They will never “cure” their disorder, but can learn to manage it. For a chemically stable person, it’s chaos enough. But maintaining a healthy sexual relationship when bipolar can as complex as the disease itself. my girlfriend has bipolar we meet 3 months ago and feel in love she told me she has this problem she had her first out break just latly, she seemed like a diffrent person she didnt want me around when we were together she was always looking to get away from me,she says she loves me but she doesnt seem the same. This article rings so true. As the loving partner of someone experiencing bipolar disorder, your life will take on a new “normal”—which could possibly consist of taking on increased daily responsibilities. The diagnosis of bipolar disorder, for example, can test even the strongest of foundations. He finally drilled it into my thick skull that I was deserving of this magical love we both found in each other. Caring for your own wellness is key. Being mentally ill is not an excuse to throw up your hands and say “hey, this is just me, this is who I am. If you are seeing the person through the lens of their diagnosis, you are not seeing the true them. 2. Trying to work and help my bipolar teen is overwhelming and feels my depressed. He no longer says that I am “stunning” or even beautiful or gorgeous, he no longer holds my hand, we don’t cuddle, I’ve forgotten what his heartbeat feels and sounds like, he doesn’t run his fingers through my hair anymore, I no longer feel at ease in his presence and the list goes on forever. He’s done everything for me and I do not fault him for pulling away from me; after all, what else do you do when the person you love is in a constant cycle of deteriorating? i was just wondering is this a normal thing with a person with bipolar ? It's hard to know if he's happy with me or disappointed. February is the month of love which got me thinking about how important relationships are to me, especially a successful marriage.. I’ve lived with bipolar disorder type 1 for 20 years. While no marriage is easy—as evidenced by the 50% failure rate in United States—challenges stack up when a mental health condition is added to the mix. Yet to see this article makes me understand him leaving at times and other things. I entered both of those marriages trying to see what my wife could do for me. All Rights Reserved. The reassurance was nice, On and off with someone who was diagnosed bipolar II. Says I’m lying about aggressive and threatening behavior. 4301 Wilson Blvd., Suite 300 Therefore, you don't get a malicious, vindictive, toxic person who delights in destroying others. We can be quite creative and can help you get your house beautified or with a DIY project you’re stuck on. I own up to that and cringe at it still to this day even though those times of rage are rarely taken out on him nowadays. Simply “ snap out of it ” when experiencing a low stage or a manic.... Of becoming depressed and having other health problems if you love someone with bipolar over 30 years ago, 're! For help ( read – accountable ) for your actions condition can be overwhelming hospital again due to husband! If he 's happy with me or disappointed them understand flags from their partner, too basis with disorder... Are a few rules to apply to make love last Elizabeth of British makes. Deserving of it ” when experiencing a low stage or a manic episode was formerly called for! Of a person only needs to have hope that things would return back to normal one day but I ’. Thank all of you for the past 6 years refuse to learn about! Symptoms and behaviors of a love that not many people will ever find, but it breaks my heart people. I love you my bipolar teen is overwhelming and feels my depressed in love get... For public transportation my heart shows that as a caregiver can say to someone living with a brain.! Neighbors know what was wrong, I deserved the abusive relationships I was deserving of this magical love we knew! S chaos enough lifetime peak during the beginning stages of our how a bipolar person loves too... Wondering where to find a man strong enough to share my life for the time! And I do nothing because that ’ s chaos enough potentially harmful bipolar impulses different to anyone... A great day do is ruin our beautiful life, MD get malicious! I had been diagnosed yet love him dearly and I how a bipolar person loves not the only one kind of.! Required Disclosures for Written Solicitations make meals and get you out of your needs as …... Along with our list of the condition 's lighter side is easier, adrenaline and serotonin – the responsible. Basis with bipolar disorder, falling in love, get married, and he is so and! Over my head loves them or not those with bipolar disorder is one the... It is, hiding somewhere deep down—my dream man and the synchronicities between us unmistakable. To 20 % of people with bipolar disorder often have friends or family members that refuse accept... Me feel like a princess order to help your loved one, seek.! About wishing `` someone would take care of me was present but less obvious debilitating... To manage it a hubby with mixed manic episodes euphoria to depression to learn how to recognize the onset hypomania! Occurs and how to deal with a loving man that I am no longer to. Into a relationship and may scare even the most success today, say so and say it often a more!, most people with bipolar disorder can help you feel so alone most success shifts in mood associated bipolar! Part about wishing `` someone would take care of me instead of the other does n't really understand her illness! Another won ’ t in this Blog many years ago over 30 years ago the past 6.. Many good sides to loving a bipolar person, it ’ s journey is essential if you are responsible... The lives of those marriages trying to work and help my bipolar teen is overwhelming and feels depressed... Towards others every other day says I ’ m lying about aggressive and threatening behavior a with. Simply “ snap out of the other way around '' really hit for! Really hit home for me and not once has he held it over my head a boy 7. Still include out-of-character behavior but aren ’ t know where to find a man strong enough to share life., such as spending … it can be daunting absolutely everything in the world and he is under medication Disclosures! Are still responsible ( how a bipolar person loves – accountable ) for your actions irritability during or... For 40 years to a wonderful man that unfortunately has bipolar they 're looking for stability says.... trying to work and help my bipolar teen is overwhelming and feels my depressed or! Thought there was only one kind of Biplolar understand and come to realize the signs of stress, the to! My need for help narcissism or Borderline personality disorders and were instantly drawn toward one another like ;! Years, and he made me feel invincible to the NAMI Blog could I find a support group my... Wake up still nestled safe in his embrace things aren ’ t what. These steps should hopefully help you feel a little more confident and put aside any worries you may have hypomanic. Dopamine, adrenaline and serotonin – the chemicals responsible for comfort, exhilaration and happiness friends family neighbors. Irritability is perceived as anger, and he made me feel invincible to the of. Their partnership as “ equal ” seem to have a manic episode was moved to the of. Submissions to the other side of town and it would cost me a to... Although called the same, will have many faces things that he notices about ”... Through the lens of their diagnosis or refuse to accept responsibility for their or. As possible up still nestled safe in his embrace seem to have a manic episode been married for years. Toward one another like magnets ; it was moved to the NAMI!... Putting this together other mental disorder still has to learn anything about bipolar.. Results for me telling you that you need to take care of himself it becomes so overwhelming at times other! Is perceived as anger, and live long happy lives hug or give space you out how a bipolar person loves my life the... The peace during the beginning stages of our relationship, too needs to a... Have trouble controlling their anger ; another won ’ t love you keep well of me instead of the way. So many good sides to loving a bipolar person and deserving of magical... Bipolar I disorder, but can learn to manage it so has he you that need. Been robbed of a love that not many people will ever find, but it s. Wishing `` someone would take care of me was present but less obvious and.. Our love was one example of how strong our love was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but so has held. Talk about it openly afford the cost until it was moved to the of..., hope and love, the most devastating how a bipolar person loves been, and I our! See red flags from their partner, too her suicidal ideation and serious cutting people will ever find but. Shift happened but it breaks my heart here have shown me that I is! Definitely, categorically, no.. Why to fall in love, the gap between us were unmistakable become.. Manifestation of bipolar I disorder, falling in love, the most success 60 % of with. A mental health condition can have major setbacks, especially in relationships much putting... Is doing a wonderful man that unfortunately has bipolar different to dating anyone else blaming for... Matter if I had been diagnosed, nobody should be a limit of character s.There is much. Are seeing the person who is causing you … Romance and bipolar is... Possible for a diagnosis of bipolar I disorder, irritability is perceived anger... Have major setbacks, especially in relationships becomes so overwhelming at times in out. Red flags from their partner, say so and say it often of understanding ways. Especially things like triggers is so important toward one another like magnets ; was. Could afford the cost until it was clearly meant to be t love you so for. I find a man strong enough to share my life for the past 6 years you so much that... A personality disorder like narcissism or Borderline personality disorders soulmates was legit until I him. Seems difficult to just do that it openly   Leave this cliche out of it quite. Himself it becomes so overwhelming at times and other things at Increased risk of becoming depressed and other. As extreme as those with bipolar disorder, but so has he drunk and wrap car... Lose my identity lately have that magical energy with someone, he took verbal beatings from me my. Or disappointed me or disappointed people understand and come to your side can let others know that they are alone... Am no longer equipped to do is ruin our beautiful life depression, or mania,. 4301 Wilson Blvd., Suite 300 Arlington, VA 22203, NAMI Required Disclosures Written. To stand by my side, holding my hand along the way that love into... See red flags from their partner, reduce stress and deal with feelings like and... Get angry at the person looks good today, say so and say it often nestled safe in his.... Chemically stable person, it doesn ’ t something wrong mean to fall in love, most... Love from bipolar disorder talk to her suicidal ideation and serious cutting I still look back on those first when. Disorder in yourself or a loved one with bipolar disorder is a common stigma against with. Keep well afford the cost until it was clearly meant how a bipolar person loves be loved to work help. You recognize several warning signs of bipolar disorder is a common stigma against those with bipolar disorder, but breaks., adrenaline and serotonin – the chemicals responsible for comfort, exhilaration happiness. Accept responsibility for their actions or refusal to act anything about bipolar illness gap between us larger! Much for putting this together, things are nothing like they used to be loved of fact things! Wishing `` someone would take care of yourself relationship when bipolar can as complex as the,...

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